brick wall

     I can confidently say that I have been through some pretty hard times. For example my life is about as much of a cliche rain storm as they come. Fortunately the extremely cliche rainbow has started to take shape. When I was eight my mom was diagnosed with cancer, at the time I really didn't understand what had happened but I had a hunch that it wasn't anything good. My brother has always been protective and the cancer pushed it even further. She fought it hard the first year and went into remission. From that my mom and I started a non-profit organization called Gems of Hope. It has been a huge success, I have learned how to write grants and give speeches to major hospital CEO's across the country to get tens of thousands of dollars. It has provided a lot into my life, it's weird looking back. If someone were to have asked me if I thought I would start a successful business in my childhood I would have laughed violently in their face. Turns out I would be come the fool in that situation. Anyways as my story continues about the time I turned ten my mom was re-diagnosed with a more aggressive breast cancer, it hit my family like a wall. All I could do was hope, because by now I had realized there was truly no turning back, and this is what began the slow tilting of my earth. It turned upsi-down. My mom was my best friend, both my parents, and the one that held me when my world fell. Now that she was falling with my world the world was looking pretty hard to hold onto. I went through a time of things I could never explain, I wasn't myself I did things the real me would never consider. That's kind of the funny thing I received massive criticism, when the most important lesson I have learned is that you should never ever make a judgement about someone whose shoes you haven't walked a mile in. I grew up a little. My mom passed away months before I turned thirteen. It was devastating and if you think your life is rough try losing your mom; especially as a girl. It's a lot harder than you can ever imagine. Although, what you don't know is that it still hurts, sometimes just as much as the day it happened. The support you get from your friends drops off a couple months after, but the real pan doesn't even set in until four months and then with all the milestones. So the grieving process is truly rather difficult, and unimaginable or describable to anyone who hasn't faced a wall. Let me tell you it hurts, and most people can't get up by themselves.

oh what fun

forgetting why you went downstairs

counting down to Christmas

I think it's safe to say that we all love a good holiday, especially the break that comes along with it. My favorite christmas memories come from my younger days. I would board the yellow rusty school bus and chatter with my friends, conviniently snuggled in a hideous furry winter coat, god knows what I was thinking when I picked it out. I would chatter with my so-called friends about all sorts of non-sense, usually who broke up with their boyfriend, and which teacher was a total jerk that day. My stop was one of the last on our bus route, so by the time my stop rolled around I was more than ready to scoot myself out of the plastery blue vandalized seats. I would hope of the bus and make the treacherous climb up my driveway, which is rather steep, especially with a fresh coat of ice. Anyhow, I always managed to reach the top. I would hop to my tippie toes and take my stubby fingers out of my pink polka dotted mittens to punch in the garage code. Then to be hit by a blast of warm, cinnamon air, followed by the serenade of frank sinatras new holiday album. I would climb up the metal kitchen stool to plop my bottum on the soft cushioned chair. I could have sat for hours, mostly because I would sit completely intrigued in my moms art of christmas cookie baking. She would start with the delectable sugar cookie dough, then she would magically roll it out the way a piece of paper unfurls. Then came the "kick the can" sound of cookie-cutters sledding down the counter. Then came the art of squishing as many cookies onto the sheet of flattened dough. Only to bring the scooping of cookies from the counter to the baking tray, with the usual beheading of a couple ginger children. Only to be canabalized by me as soon as my mom looked away for a millisecond. I'm not sure why I ever thought I got away with that, because I was obviously rocking some guilty chipmunk cheeks full of christmassy goodness. The aroma that smushed its way through the oven grates, was thick. It was absolutely delicious. I loved everything about christmas cookies, especially the decorating. I always got super into it, intricate designs with red hots, sprinkles, anything edible. I often found myself using toothpicks to ensure the finest detail within my cookies. Whick frequently led me to defend my cookies honors by delaying the consumption of my creations until the last minute. What can I say I can't resist a good holiday tradition, and if I may say so; it's beginning to look a lot like christmas :)

buried in school

     Today I finished my homework around three. Let me rephrase that, I thought I finished my homework around three. I was wrong. I woke up from my delightful nap to realize that I had indeed forgotten about my two blogposts and the extra credit for my advanced placement United States History class. Talk about a buzz kill. So I stepped off of the couch and headed to the kitchen counter to work on my homework that I had unfortunately forgotten. I think this is a problem for high school students everywhere. Sometimes it’s that day you sit on the couch and watch football all day, then get an epiphany at nine pm and realize you have a whole essay to write. Other times you just tell yourself you will do it the next day even though we all know you wont. There are so many easy ways to push of homework, and to forget about the work. What we often fail to realize as immature high schoolers is that in the real world you have to keep up, and even work ahead to stay in the thick of things. You want to enjoy life and no one enjoys those days when you have to play catch up.

     That is exactly what I had to do today. This weekend was the first weekend I had free because soccer just ended. So friday I went to a West High football game, then the Iowa game the following morning. Then that night I hung out with my favorite people. Until this morning when I unfortunately woke up at nine to realize I had tons of makeup work to do. This is extremely unlikely, and I am only in this position because I had the Langford Leadership both Wednesday and Thursday so I was feeling quite depressed, and mostly at fault for the amount of work I had to do today. I had a study guide due for AP US History, the AP Lang paper, blogging three times, a spanish oral, some psychology worksheets, test corrections, and a take home test. It was absolutely awful and this is my advice to other students. I hope for the sake of all the students that they don’t deal with this nonsense all the time. I happen to know that most students do put things off and pull all nighters to maintain semi-decent grades. Sometimes I worry about the world. 

the dark knight

It is currently and it is five thirty-nine pm. How awful. I want to go to sleep. This is kind of  bull shiz that the world decides is necessary. What is this, and who came up with this horrible idea of turning clocks back. I was more than excited to get an extra hour of sleep, believe me I needed it. I bring you back to the current problem that it is dark out at five pm. Why would anyone decide this is a good idea. It just encourages people to go to sleep really early due to the unnecessarily dark surroundings that insinuate that it is way later than it truly is. I love going to bed early, but this is really going to mess with me. I for some reason do not remember it get dark this early ever. I am kind of wondering if I have been in a cave or something. Obviously not because it is dark in a cave but I mean you get the point. I want to know who invented this. Why do we spring forward and fall back. Could we not just go all year without changing the clocks. I love the winter though. It is a cuddly time of year, and you get to wear cute scarves and mittens, boots and warm yummy soup. It is always great to enjoy a steaming hot cup of hot chocolate with delicious spongy marshmallows. I have great memories of walking into my garage and then into the laundry room to peel of my layers of snow clothes and throw them into the dryer. Only to walk into the kitchen to walk into a wall of christmas cookie fog, and bowls of crayon colored icing on the counter, alarms beeping reminding my mom of the cookies she forgot. You can hear christmas music dancing in the air, and you can see the fire place crackling with excitement. It is an experience like no other, and I miss those feelings. 

a bloody thirst for hepatitis

     Oh the vampire diaries, my one true love. Happy, sad, angry, tears, tired it is always there for me. Constantly bringing drama, suspense, chaos, blood, love and an excitement that no one truly has in their own life. For me it is an escape to another world, something I can lose myself in. It is a daily thing for me now, I come home from school, take a nap, wake up and watch an episode. I get forty two minutes a day to watch someone else's life unfold, and decay. Giving me temporary time to forget about my own life challenges. It is commonly depicted as another vampire show, nothing special, but that is for the non-believers. Yeah believe me, I too think that the twilight teens are just as crazy as the next person. Although with vampire diaries I think everything is much more realistic. The way they create real characters and make you feel a real connection with them.
     The most recent episode I watched included a lot of real life occurrences just so I can prove it to you all. It included a guy protecting the girl he loves, another boy going behind his girlfriends back to see an ex, a father reprimanding his daughter, and a girl falling back into love. Of course in vampire terms that is some chaos of dead vampires contacting the humans, witches channelling powers, a couple that is struggling due to the change in power, as the highbreds now hold power. I'm sure none of that made any sense to anyone except the AWESOME few that take part in my love for the show.
     A lot of crazy things have happened in our worlds because of the vampire craze among teenagers. For example the increasing number of kids running around in black wearing tails, or fangs, dressing in all black. I will even go as far as to mention the teens biting each other, passing on the dreaded hepatitis. Seriously though, that is awful and disgusting. What has the modern world come about to. Who do we turn to for the blame of this. Is it the media for releasing such a daunting idea to the public or is it to the children for taking things to far. Maybe even the market and world industry that creates massive quantities of the nonsense advertising nick-nacs. Useless necklaces, folders, buttons, and stickers. The world becomes what we make of it.
     I truly hope this is the worst that we will see. I only fear the new movies to come out, and new teen heart-throbs. Who is going to be the next cardboard cut-out? A sexy lumberjack? I will keep a positive mindset because God knows that this world can not bear to handle another teen bite outbreak. So I wish our world industries the best of luck.