challenges

We’ve all had challenges in our life. Some are admittedly harder than others, but that does not take away from the fact that we all have them, and that it’s how we deal with these challenges that define us. Whether your challenge is taking a class you think is above your comprehension, becoming the best you can be as an athlete, or giving a speech that makes your nerves tremble, you need to rise up and meet it because it is these challenges that mold our personalities and make us the people we are today, and the people we will be in the years to come. William Frederick once said, "There are no great people in this world, only great challenges which ordinary people rise to meet."  I love quotes they can bring great meaning. You truly never know how your personal words and thoughts can affect someone elses life.

hidden motivation

The ravens are still in the running for the Superbowl, oh if only you all knew how happy this makes me. Unfortunately a lot of people are bashing the success of the ravens, alongside and at the fault of the packers last round loss. Let us all take a moment of silence for the annoying friend we al have that won't shut up about how great the packers are. Glad we could give some recognition. The ravens have floated along the top of the NFL for a while now, they haven't reached the top since 2001. Eleven long years of hard work without reward. They maintain the status of top three in their defense and have Ray Lewis a fourteen year veteran of the program that continues to lead with his strength and experience. He is often criticized for "killing a person" which I will admit seems to be a rational criticism, in his defense the case was never actually proven. The ravens work their butts off every year and almost always make it to the playoffs and narrowly miss the target. I love the ravens and remain a faithful fan mostly due to my uncle serving as their tight end coach. I would also like to think that I am a lot more knowledgeable than most girls, I can honestly, and proudly say that when the ravens play I sit down and watch the whole game. I also tend to get rather involved in the games. I yell and scream and cringe throughout the whole game. In my house on sunday afternoons there is a distinct buzz in my house. After a given play you can hear my families comments and afterthoughts escaping from their mouths in all corners of the house. It is an unspoken rule in my house that you do not under any circumstance interrupt a ravens game; call our home phone and do not expect an answer, maybe an angry groan. The ravens have as much of a shot as anyone does this year. In the NFL once you reach the playoffs it is truly any team on any given day. It matters who shows up who is favored and who is determined. The fans in the NFL truly do have a passion beyond nothing else. They are dedicated to the sport, they live and breath for the sport. The support those season ticket holders have is beyond all others. A thought, this is often an overlooked factor of the NFL as they do indeed drive the sport.

what to think

So many things run through a persons mind even a the small scale of an hour. The places your mind will wander may surprise you. The best or maybe worst thing about your wandering thoughts is that they usually have a larger meaning or purpose. A persons wandering thoughts usually have a direct correlation with what means the most and the thing that you want to think about. It is truly incredulous, even when you think you have gotten past something and it no longer means anything to you, it pops back right into your wandering mind. I have experienced this several times in my daily school life. This may have been inspired by enjoyment that the teachers at kennedy high school fail to create for me. I have mastered the stare off and act like I am paying attention while truly I am beyond the point of return in my daydream. I have learned that as much as one may deny their true motive for passive thought. There is always an underlying meaning. Do with that what you will.
When my mom passed away I hoped and prayed that I would dream about her, any chance to see her, hear her, or enjoy her company. I tried my hardest to think about her, all those over produced studies about thinking about something before sleep inducing the dream of your choice. This is a whole bunch of bull shit, because I tried that for the longest time and it didn't get me anything nor anywhere. It took about five or six months before I finally had one. It was definitely odd to say the least, I believe the first dream about her was something along the lines of her laying in a library room, behind closed doors. When my mom died I unfortunately missed out on her final breaths and it had been weighing on me for the longest time. In the dream I got to stand by my mom's side as she took her last breath, I even got to hold her hand and whisper goodbye as she fell softly away. It hurt but I do think it brought me closure. BOOM UNDERLYING MEANING

continues

It is truly amazing how abruptly things can and do change. In a matter of seconds your life can be pulled out from under you. I have experienced that very personally in the most recent weekend. I watched one of the people I care the most about struggle to hold onto what he had left. I had to sit alone and wait for the wrath of the punishing to end before he slipped silently down the stairs and sat down in front of me and broke into tears. I can not even begin to describe the emotions that flooded over me when I looked over and saw him completely broken, on his last hope. I knew that I couldn't break or absolutely all hope would be lost, the only option was to pull myself together for him. I put everything that was speed racing through my head on pause and slid over next to him on the couch. His head fell to my chest and he absolutely lost it, I could just feel everything draining out of him as I ran my fingers through his hair just like he was a little kid again. That went on for about an hour, before the silence finally cracked. He looked at me and said "I don't have a dream anymore, I never get a chance to live my dream. It's all over and I have nothing to live for, I'm going no where. I am a nobody." I sat there for a moment letting the color drain from my face before I responded: "You can't let one thing define your life, you have to want to prove that you're different; everyone makes mistakes and what does define your life is how you react to it." He just looked at me, and I am sure it was nothing near what he was wanting to here. I was so stressed I literally would have said or done anything to make him happy even for a second. I think we might have just stared at each other for 20 minutes before he was able to make a response. I just love how much he means to me and the feelings that push me to want to care and make sure that he is going to be alright. 

the struggle

It is truly amazing how abruptly things can and do change. In a matter of seconds your life can be pulled out from under you. I have experienced that very personally in the most recent weekend. I watched one of the people I care the most about struggle to hold onto what he had left. I had to sit alone and wait for the wrath of the punishing to end before he slipped silently down the stairs and sat down in front of me and broke into tears. I can not even begin to describe the emotions that flooded over me when I looked over and saw him completely broken, on his last hope. I knew that I couldn't break or absolutely all hope would be lost, the only option was to pull myself together for him. I put everything that was speed racing through my head on pause and slid over next to him on the couch. His head fell to my chest and he absolutely lost it, I could just feel everything draining out of him as I ran my fingers through his hair just like he was a little kid again. That went on for about an hour, before the silence finally cracked. He looked at me and said "I don't have a dream anymore, I never get a chance to live my dream. It's all over and I have nothing to live for, I'm going no where. I am a nobody." I sat there for a moment letting the color drain from my face before I responded: "You can't let one thing define your life, you have to want to prove that you're different; everyone makes mistakes and what does define your life is how you react to it." He just looked at me, and I am sure it was nothing near what he was wanting to here. I was so stressed I literally would have said or done anything to make him happy even for a second. I think we might have just stared at each other for 20 minutes before he was able to make a response. I just love how much he means to me and the feelings that push me to want to care and make sure that he is going to be alright. 

baby it blows outside

The snow blows. Literally. To all you that repeatedly complained about it not being a white christmas, and wanting it to snow and such, screw you. It is awful that people would sit around and complain for this misery. We all knew that this warm winter wasn't going to last forever, obviously winter was bound to reach us eventually. The comical aspect of this is that the same people that blatantly complained about the lack of snow, are the same people that blew up my twitter newsfeed with complaints of the snow and the fact that a snow day was not given early this morning. So all you two sided people I beg you to keep your mouths quiet in hopes that you do not curse us further into this winter. This morning as I woke up seven minutes past the time I am suppose to be in class, I hustled to get ready and hopped in my car. As I swerved down my long steep driveway I went to hit my brakes and flew into my neighbors driveway. What a great way to start the day. I backed up and pulled into my freshly-unplowed neighborhood, as I live in the country & we are almost always the last to get taken care of. Anyways I continued the trecherous neighborhood and headed to blairsferry, or shall I say the deathtrap. It took twenty minutes for the two cars ahead of me to turn right before I even got to the stop sign. When I got up there it took another five. Even once I was on my way my car was moving 20 miles per hour in a 45 mile zone. Happy day. When I turned onto edgewood, I faced two stoplights and the raging speed of ten miles per hour, needless to say I probably could have ran to school faster. When I got to school I was forced to park at the bottum of the lot with only five minutes to get to class. I started to run in my pale gray knit uggs and I'm pretty sure each step I took brought me back about half as far as I had moved forward. How frustrating as the snow blew hard into my face and clothing. When I finally reached the building four minutes later I hustled into class. Out of breath and tired I was infuriated. So this post goes out to all you know-nothings, screw you and the karma that comes with your ignorance.

common error

One thing I have learned from high school is that if you don't surround yourself with people that make you happy, you will be miserable. It is often the key to your success. Try thinking about constantly worrying about if your friends are telling your secrets or talking behind your back, always worrying that you wont get invited somewhere, and voluntarily sitting at home when some bitch starts a little drama. The things high school girls put themselves and others through are truly rediculous. It takes a long time to reach a point of comfortability with yourself. Let's face it, everyone is weird, absolutely no one is how we say "normal". Normal doesn't exist and people who think it does give me any example and explain to me what makes that normal.Personally I think if everyone was normal nothing good or bad would ever happen. We would all just sit around and do normal things, again not really sure what those are, but they do not sound like much fun at all. If I could change one thing about high school it would be that freshman and sophomore year I cared too much about what people thought and I would do what everyone else was doing because that seemed like the easiestd way to avoid being singles out. What I have learned is that even though it may come with more stress being yourself is natural and comes with ease. Everyone loves a person that is so comfortable with themself that they don't even care what other people think. Those are the kind of people that are leaders. It takes confidence in yourself and your ideas, even if you don't believe them if you can convince somebody else is when you truly know you are a leader. People who do great things do not follow the pack, after all somebody has to follow you to make you a leader. In fact it is often the people that go silently and do their own thing that move mountains. They do not feel the need to be flashy or make a big deal they just go along on their own way not concerned with what everyone else is crazy over, or the latest fad. People who do what makes them happy is ultimately the key to happiness itself. Let me tell you happy people attract other positive people. That may just be the easiest way to ensure yourself that you have surrounded yourself with people that make you happy.

curbing the hunger

The second hunger games book was quite a bit different from the first, I didn't enjoy it quite as much but it did curb my hunger for more Katniss. The problems with this book faulted within the first books greatness. It was difficult to live up to the legacy. I had many thoughts running through my head when I read this book; including why do they feel the need to out-do themselves. The book was great, that being said sending the tributes back into the arena was too much for me. It was over-done. The experience had already been created flawlessly, but trying again just seemed like forcing something to be less great than before. I would even go as far as to say that it almost took away from the first books glory. Among other things the love story is tragic in the book and is kind of annoying at the start, the repetition may have gone a little too far. Although I have yet to read the third book so I may be lacking a little bit of insight on the matter. There were several things that I happened to love in this book as well; fortunately there were a decent amount of things to catch my interest just long enough for me to finish the book. One of the things that I found most impressive in this book was the author’s ability to utilize detail, he found ways to make his description tell a story within his own writing; for example: when he describes the white rose that president snow sent to Katniss you can feel the anger and tension between the two in his description of the harsh smell and the blazing white color of the flower. Another aspect of his writing I enjoyed was the ability the author gave the readers to form relationships with the characters, not only did he form them as humble and very likeable people, but he gave them emotions on a connectable level. He shows this through the love Peeta has and how Peeta’s eyes change and dilate when looking at the girl he loves, but he complicates things by including Gale into the story and adding the element of real life. Everyone has been in a situation where they have had to choose. I really commend authors with this ability, I think it is a powerful tool, that when used correctly can draw in your audience at the correct point in the story. When I read that is one of the first things I look to make, an emotional connection. Once I have made a connection I am almost always hooked.

hungry for more

I recently read the first of the hunger games trilogy, and in my opinion it did indeed live up to the hype. I think I finished it in two and a half hours. I even gave up dinner to keep reading because I could not seem to put that book down for the life of me. It began very predictable, but obviously with the name "the hunger games" the book was obviously headed toward them, and in order for that to become the plot on of the few main characters they had introduced were obviously going to be chosen. It happened to be Katniss's younger sister, Prim Everdeen. Although it didn't take long before Katniss volunteered herself due to the vulnerability and the young age of her sister. As a young child Katniss had learned to hunt from her dad and did hold a little edge within that. The book takes them through the prep for the games and the treatment they get before the killing which is in fact kind of shameful. Like fattening your farm animals before slaughter, it served as a metaphor for what the government was doing. When the interviews begin Peeta Katniss's male companion from her district professes his true and undying love for her. She is in an awful position and just plays shy because everyone knows that you need sponsors in the games and that would ensure a little fan favoritism. In the games Katniss gets away early and finds Peeta with the more experienced clan and is hurt but uses her knowledge and skill to the highest ability. Eventually an announcement comes on saying that a district could win as two people. Katniss runs to find Peeta and he is in awful condition so she nurses him to health and does whatever it takes. She does get lucky through her good deeds in the game and I'm not quite sure how she manages to be that sly. Once only the two lovers remain the rules change because all the government wanted was a better show so they go for a double suicide to rebel the capital and force them to step in and allow two winners. It will truly keep you on edge, the stress of the government onto the fake love, and the fighting back. It leads to rebellion and although I'm not a big fantasy person this one is truly a great read.